POLL RESULTS ARE IN

It's conclusive! People prefer AKA pella over SIX13 and Mr. Steiner is guilty of voter fraud and abuses mexicans.

Based upon the results of two very scientific blogs - 51% of people would rather listen to AKA Pella than any other album and overwhelmingly (88%), bloggers believe that Mr. Steiner has engaged in mexican abuse and voter fraud (not necessarily in that order).

Discuss amongst yourselves.

STEINER BRINGS HIS "A" GAME (as usual)

Mr. Steiner we read your latest post, really... why so subtle? ... let us help you express yourself more honestly.

Here's what you said:

"I'm in the process of writing the review for 613's latest, and I can tell you this so far: if you're going to buy one acapella album this year, I highly recommend you buy 613.

Full review to follow."

****************************
Here's what you mean but simply don't have the kneidalach to say:

"I'm in the process of writing the review for 613's latest" = I heard the first 2 minutes of the SIX13 album and really don't care to hear anymore.

"and I can tell you this so far" = I have no buisness even commenting on an album that I havn't even heard yet but i simply can't wait that long - i must dis AKAPELLA NOW!!

"if you're going to buy one acapella album this year, I highly recommend you buy 613" = DAMN YOU AKAPELLA - why can't i be part of your success - why must I work so hard to put you down... DAMN YOU! - or - If you have a choice between buying Chazan Stupengarten's latest masterpiece or SIX13 I highly recommend that you DON"T buy AKAPELLA.

"Full review to follow" = More irrelevant musical bull@#$ to follow - plus yet another opportunity to make it clear that i don't like AKAPELLA.

[Please be sure to comment so I can edit/delete/rewrite it and repost it on my blog.]

Thank You,

Aryeh Steiner aka "keyboardguy"

MR. STEINER "MEXICAN ABUSE" CAUGHT ON TAPE

MR. STEINER CONTACTED US TO REQUEST THAT WE REMOVE THE "MEXICAN ABUSE" VIDEO CITING THAT "IT DEPICTS ME IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT."

MR. STEINER FURTHER STATED ON THE RECORD THAT THE INCIDENT THAT WAS CAUGHT ON TAPE WAS "NOT WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE" ADDING THAT "SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE MEXICANS."

WHEN ASKED ABOUT HIS HISTORY OF MEXICAN ABUSE MR. STEINER RESPONDED "NO FURTHER QUESTIONES AT THIS TIME."

MR. STEINER''S MOTHER DID NOT RETURN OUR PHONE CALLS.

[VIDEO REMOVED PENDING FURTHER INVESTIGATION]

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. STEINER

Dear Mr. Steiner,

In recent days, some of my bloggers have suggested (in their fan mail) that perhaps I have been a little too harsh on you and your blog.

Perhaps, this is true. Perhaps there IS room for a keyboardguy and an accordianguy at the table. After all both the keyboard and the accordian are absolutely essential to a great band.

We here at the Jewishest Jewish Music Blog would like to extend you an invitation for an open and honest discussion. I'd like to have you come over to the dark side and share your viewpoints. Of course, mine is an uncensored blog, so I cannot predict the response, but i will instruct my bloggers to be gentle.

You will have an opportunity to make your case and be heard.

You will have an opportunity to defend allegations of plagerism, copyright infringement, mexiacan abuse and for pete's sake stealing my blog's color scheme. You may also defend your JIB Nomination.

All in all a good time will be had by all and perhaps we may even come to a truce. (you never know)

If however you chose to ignore this invitation we will have no choice but to CRUSH YOU LIKE CAN OF PEPSI! (metephorically speaking)

Sincerely,

Accordianguy

EXTRA EXTRA: Steiner's Poll is a Fraud

Last week Mr. Steiner added a poll to his failing blog asking bloger(s) which a capella album they prefered, SIX13 or AKAPELLA. No big surprise, Steiner's Poll suggests that SIX13 is the more popular of the two. We decided to put this so called "poll" to the test.

We conducted a scientific experiment. We had our dedicated bloggers vote for AKAPELA from 20 different computers only to discover that any vote for AKAPELLA simply will not register. We then had the same bloggers vote for SIX13 and surprise surprise - it registered the vote.

Which leads me to the conclusion that Steiner has stooped to a an all new level of censorship - VOTER FRAUD!

What next Mr. Steiner will you start a blog dedicated to communist propaganda! Oh! the horror....

BTW - why hasn't Mr. Steiner reviewed the new SIX13 album? Is it because it blows OR is it because he's afraid no one will respond!

I strongly suggest that your JIB nomination be retracted.

The Jewishest Jewish Music Blog Nominated for 2007 JIB Award

That's right ladies and gentelman. We have been nominated for a 2007 JIB Award in not one but four categories.
"Best New Blog" - "Best Music Blog" - "Best Source of Music News" and "Most Geshmakeh Blog".

The JIB Award for those who don't know (or don't care) is only the most coveted (yet completely worthless) award that can be bestowed upon a Jewish themed blog. Only the cream of the crop get nominated. The recipient of the JIB Award gets bragging rights for an entire year.

Thank you to the hundreds of fans who have nominated this blog - we are touched!

NEW POST COMING SOON

MR. STEINER'S BLOG: Copyright infringement?

Several bloggers have brought an interesting observation to my attention. It seems that Mr. Steiner's so-called "Jewish Music" blog is modeled after this very blog. I visited the site to verify the accuracy of this rumor and I must say ... I was shocked!! The similarity is uncanny!!!

Check it out for yourself.

From the layout to the color scheme to the captions, it looks like Mr. Steiner has been "borrowing" my unique style and creativity from the getgo.

Mr. Steiner, who goes by the name "keyboardguy" (wonder where he got that from...hmmm) also lifted my biogrophy and simply interchanged my life with his... what a sham!!

I'm having my attorneys look into these blatant copyright issues... they assure me that Mr. Steiner will be brought to justice.

Mr. Steiner... have you no shame?... did you not think that your dirty little secret would be revealed?

Can't you come up with your own material - what next... are you going gain 200 pounds, purchase leeder hoysen and suspenders and start playing the accordian?

Simply an embarressment!

Thank you to Zelig and Cheski from Williamsburg for bringing this to my attention.

MR. STEINER HEADS DELEGATION TO THE INTERNATIONAL AKA PELLA DENIER CONFERENCE IN IRAN

Zilberstan, IRAN

In a stunning turn of events Mr. Steiner of the "Jewish Music" blog has taken on an unholy new mission - the International AKA Pella Deniers Conference (also known as NAMBLA) which is set to take place in Iran this coming Thursday.

For those following the lastest controversy, things have been heating up on the STEINER / AKA Pella front in recent weeks. Matters seemed to escalate late last week when Mr. Steiner openly called the AKA pella members "a bunch of nappy-headed hos."

While many have been eagerly awaiting a public apoogy from Mr. Steiner, none has been forthcoming. Now, in a bold new move, Mr. Steiner has decided to head up anti-AKA Pella delegation which will be attending the International AKA Pella Deniers Conference in Zilberstan, Iran later this week. Among those expected to attend are Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and members of the a capella group SIX13.

The big topic at the convention will of course be AKA Pella, its non-existance, and its destruction (in the event that it does in fact exist). In addition, there will be a discussion concerning AKA Pella 2, the group's latest "alleged" release, at which it will be determined if in fact there is use of musical instruments in the production of the album.

Mr. Steiner is expected to addresss the massess as a key-note speaker, during which time he will also discuss copyright issues relating to the album, the cover art and some light keyboard tech tidbits. An unconfirmed report suggests that Mr. Steiner may also enthrall the masses with a great little recipe for spinach quiche.

AKA Pella members are up-in-arms. "[W]hat's he thinking... going to Iran to particpate in the AKA Pella Deniers Conference... has he lost his mind?" Begged Bracha Berkowitz of Los Angeles, California. "This is a Dark, Dark day for Jewish Music fans everywhere... very Dark... its shvartz... Bleak.... MAKAS CHOISHECH... farkakteh... FEH!... its just plain bad!! " said Shimmy Gantzfried of Boro Park, New York.

"Mr. Steiner Must be stopped", commented one prominant Internet mashgiach (who wished to remain anonymous). "[M]any don't know this but Mr. Steiner is not only an AKA Pella denier but a communist and a Mexican abuser... that's right he keeps several Mexicans locked in his basement who are forced to play the keyboard 24/7 for his gratification... just terrible!"

As of last night, Mr. Steiner and his delegation have embarked on their mission. While the Jewish Music World awaits the outcome of the conference, AKA Pella fans everywhere are preparing for the worst.

Mr. Steiner to members of A.K.A. Pella: You're a "bunch of nappy-headed hos"

Brooklyn, NEW YORK

Sources at Sameach Music have disclosed that Mr. Steiner is at it again. This time he is out for blood.

In a statement made to Jewish music insiders earlier this week, Mr. Steiner was cited as remarking that the members of A.K.A. Pella were a "bunch of nappy-headed hos."

This statement of course, comes on the heals of a heated battle between disgraced blogger Mr. Steiner and the hit group AKA Pella. Sources have divulged that Mr. Steiner has been bitter over AKA Pella's continued success in the Jewish Music Industry.

"Perhaps Mr. Steiner misses the spotlight... not sure he ever had it though" said Ruchi G. of Baltimore, Maryland.
For those in the know, Mr. Steiner was once a member of the group but was allegedly dismissed when they realized that there was no room for a keyboard player in an a capella group. AKA Pella went on the produce two breakthrough albums while Mr. Steiner started a Jewish Music blog dedicated to technical "keyboard" mumbo jumbo and the evolution of broccoli.

Many AKA Pella fans believe that this latest insult has gone too far. "You can call AKA Pella members many things... but nobody calls them 'nappy-headed hos'" said Zev B. of Far Rockaway, New York.

Other fans were unsure of Mr. Steiner's motives."People should know that Mr. Steiner is commy and an unteramencshe.... and he keeps mexicans locked in his basement just for shits and giggles" said an obviously disgruntled Internet Mashgiach who requested anonymety.

In the eyes of many Mr. Steiner has sealed his fate. His once slightly happening blog has been virtully on life-support for weeks now. this latest remark aimed at AKA Pella doesnt look like it will help any.

Good Night and Good Luck... Mr. Steiner.

Hello there Mr. Steiner

For days now Mr. Steiner's blog has gone without a single post. There have been no reviews. Does this silence signify the end of Mr. Steiner's blog? Has Mr. Steiner thrown in the towel? We certainly hope not... what fun would that be.

What we can say is that Mr. Steiner is in fact monitoring the progress on this blog as is revealed by our high-tech web geshpogulator. Hello there Mr. Steiner. Greetings. Everyone say HI. Don't be shy Mr. Steiner come out from behind that keyboard.

I understand that things are a bit dead on your blog - so I would like to extend the opportunity for you to post a music review on this blog. Perhaps you can review Avram Fried's latest work "YES..We are ready" which should be hitting stores this lag b'omer. I also hear that Uncle Moishey has a new release... any thoughts?

Remember Mr. Steiner this a family oriented blog - I only ask that you keep it clean.

Laterz!

REB ELYASHEV SHLITA " VISITING MR. STEINER'S BLOG IS A SHAILA OF YICHUD"

In light of recent developments on the blogosphere, in particular sites such as Mr. Steiner's "Jewish Music" Blog, many rabonim have raised some serious halchic concerns.

In a candid interview, the famed R' Elyashev Shlita paskened that visiting Mr. Steiners Blog is "mamesh a shaila of yichud." Reb Elyashev is of course reffering to the halacha that prohibits men and women from being alone in an enclosed environment. Reb Elyashev elborated "Due to the miniscule number of visitors that have been partcipating in Mr. Streiner's blog in recent weeks... there's a real problem that a single male and female might wind up at the blog, at the same time, with nothing but crickets to be shomer them."

Another Prominant Internet mashgiach (who wishes to remain anonymous) has also raised concern over Mr. Steiner's charachter. "People don't realize that Mr. Steiner is communist and he abuses mexicans... also he is an admitted Dudu hater" said the anonymous mashgiach in a phone interview late last evening. We can only presume he is reffering to the legendary Dudu Fisher of Les Misrable fame.

While some rabonim have decided to hold-off on assering the blog all-together, some have already begun with their assering campaign. Others still have simply decided to give Mr. Steiner an opportunity to mend his ways.

BREAKING NEWS: Google requests that Mr. Steiner take down his Blog

NEW YORK, (AP Report)

Sources at Google headquarters (thank you Zalmen G. from accounting) have informed me that Google reps have been monitoring Mr. Steiner's "Jewish Music" Blog for some time and have determined that it is neither Jewish nor Music related. Furthermore, reps have raised some issues as to the blogs viability. It seems that traffic has dwindled down to 1-2 hits per day (most likely as a result of Mr. Steiner and his granmother). These numbers suggest that the blog has actually gone into cardiac arrest.

"The blog is remains sluggish, boring and for the most part... irrelevant" said Larry Stein of Google management in a phone Interview.

Others have commented that Mr. Steiner, the Stalin-loving blog-operator has viciously been deleting the posts of bloggers with who he does not see eye to eye or share his love for the keyboard.

"Mr. Steiner is communist, a socialist... plus he hates Dudu Fisher" commented a prominant Internet mashgiach (who has asked to remain anonymous). "His blog fosters hate and sheer evil" Said Mindy Z, a former fan of the site.

Google has failed to comment as to when they intend to remove the blog. They did indicate that the blog was taking up valuable space on their servers... space that could otherwise be dedicated to more interesting topics like Broccoli.

Blog insiders are aware that this debacle really began when Mr. Steiner attempted to disparage an up and coming a capella group and their latest album release. This was Mr. Steiner's second attempt to take a shot at the group. Both have failed miserably. Mr. Steiner's blog has faced a sudden death as a result of his actions.

Google, it seems has taken note, their response "Mr. Steiner is going down!"

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ON THIS.

GUEST POSTERS WANTED

UNLIKE another blog which shall go nameless... at this blog we respect all points of view - regardless of whether I agree with them or not. As such, I am opening this blog up for guest editorials. If you have a Jewish Music album that you wish to review let me know. All I ask is that you have a basic understaning of the English Language and access to a computer. Also an IQ above 25 is recommneded but not required. The reason for that is that i firmly believe you need not be a musician, lawyer or a rocket scientist to review Yaakov Shweki's latest album.

Also, If anyone would like to review Mr. Steiners Reviews of other albums - this is the place. UNCESORED BLOGGING AT ITS BEST!!

Finally, if anyone has general nonesense that they wish to contribute - go right ahead - i reserve the right to heckle you if your posts are simply non-funny/entertaining.

Blog away people!

HOW ARYEH STEINER SINGLE HANDEDLY DESTROYED HIS BLOG

For many, the Jewish Music Industry is a very serious matter... for others yet, its all just a big joke... for me its a little of both. I am very serious about making sure people do not take them selves too seriously, especially when it comes to Jewish music.

Mr. Steiner aka "keyboardguy" of the Jewish Music Blog is one such individual who has allowed his critique of the Jewish Music Industry to get to his head. At first, he was just another keyboard nerd with a CD player who thought he had the ability to listen "critically" to music and offer his two-cents. At first people came to his blog to humor him, his parents, his friends, his aunts and uncles... it was all very cute! In no time he got carried away with his reviews to the point where his commentary of music and artists became incessantly nasty and irrelevant to the music itself... still rather harmless in my view - after all the man is entitled to his opinion - no problem there... all in all pretty cute...

...but then things took a turn for the worse.

It seems that a group of his former friends released an album called "AKAPELLA." It was an a cappela album - a group to which Mr. Steiner apparently once belonged but prematurely left. The group went on to produce two very successfull albums of which Mr. Steiner had no part. The success of the albums was too much for Mr. Steiner to bare. That's when Mr. Steiner's commentary turned from whimsical to outright nasty. His blog evolved form a novelty act about music to a three-ring circus of hate and jelousy. The target AKAPELLA. When Mr. Steiner could not undemine theirl music he tried desperately to disparage the group to anyone that would listen. Now, of course Mr. Steiner tried to avoid the appearance of complete impropriety so instead of being nasty all by his lonesome he sat back and cajoled his buddies to do the dirty work and then simply concurred with their libelous "opinions."

Now, I don’t take issue with the harsh or twisted posts and/or commentary –after all everyone is entitled to their opinions (no matter how biased)- but what I do take issue with is Mr. Steiner's tactics. Mr. Steiner has an interesting take on "free-speech" - that is, the only free-speech that he allows on his blog is that of posters who agree with his demented views - the other posters mysteriously disappear into the night. That's right, Mr. Steiner selectively deletes those posts that do not share his hate-mongering views. Especially if what you have to say puts akapella in a good light.

So next time you are one of the 3-5 people that still visit Mr. Steiner's blog on any given day... before you leave a comment - keep in mind that if what you have to say doesn’t jive with Mr. Stiener your post will fade into oblivion... OBLIVION... which is where Mr. Steiner's blog has faded into over the past few weeks...

Mr. Steiner... I hate to say this but you did this to yourself... your blog has died a slow miserable death... what a shame...

Oh… Mr. Steiner, you can feel free to leave a comment here, I assure you... it will still be here when you return…

WELCOME TO THE REAL JEWISH MUSIC BLOG

Hey everybody,

Ever wondered what it would be like to get unfiltered, unbiased reviews and inside information about the Jewish Music industry - Well wonder no longer because we have arrived.

Sure, there will be those who wish to get their music fix from the other Jewish Music Blog - but be ware - there is an individual out there mascarading as a music expert who actually has no musical background or experirence - yet he would have you believe that he is the be-all-end-all of jewish music.

Recently his blog numbers have been dwindeling as bloggers have discovered his little secret - he is really a music TROLL.

Moreover, he has been censoring his blog to the point where NO ONE has a voice besides those that share his biases or kiss his lil' tushy. STAY FAR AWAY PPL.

Our Guarantee is that this blog will go uncensored so long as no personal information is exchanged. Everyone is free to share their wisdom or stupidity all the same.

We are now open for buisness.